Feminine Energy and Jealousy

There was a funny phrase in Turkish: the possessive male grip. I have always laughed at this, and I use this motto when practicing touch in dance lessons: “Don’t touch yourself like a possessive male grip, let the contact be in a neutrality but with a clarity that makes you feel.” saying.

We know that possessiveness and jealousy vary in different ways of relating. It would be a great mistake to attribute this to gender and sexual orientation. It is more logical to attribute the possessiveness and the inevitable result of jealousy to a consciousness structure rather than a gender. Let’s open the ownership here, it can also have a sympathetic meaning in Turkish. “Own it…” I’m talking about owning, seeing someone as property. Owning a relationship is a different matter.

Our history, our experiences, the way we perceive life and love, our expectations, and more can lead to the “own it..” state. In my opinion, this is a form that we direct not only to our partner, but to the whole life. Even the title of Erich Fromm’s To Have or To Be says it well enough. There’s a big difference between making something mine and being with it. A magic conjunction with here that changes the whole equation.

Two types of common beliefs prevail: the man is jealous, or the women are over-thinking and obsessed with details; so they seem to find something to be jealous of. In people who live beyond the genders and declare themselves “contemporary”, understandings such as being comfortable overcoming all this jealousy and liberation in sexuality prevail.

Here, I think honesty with ourselves is very important. Yes, we all have feminine and masculine qualities; We cannot wash envy only on the masculine and feminine. But we know that the feminine one is about being and the masculine one has a more possessive quality. There is not much ownership in the feminine energy, there is opening up the space. Feminine energy, which cannot draw boundaries, exists with its inclusiveness and can hardly come to restrictions and rules. It is chaos by nature.

In masculine qualities, boundaries, separations and extractions become clear. Masculine energy knows better rules and rules, likes to focus. Masculine energy is tremendously important to our ability to function and take action in life. So which one love belongs to?

Love is where the two are together, love is where we can become whole.

Ultimately, one wants to be integrated, to be completed. We can constantly try to cling to another (person or commodity) with a desire for integration.

“To bring into the world but not to own it;

to act but not to expect in return

do your thing and then quit easily:

Because it’s letting go

which Making it stay.” The lines are my favorite part of Tao te Ching.

It explains to us that what we hold on to does not really stay with us.

The possibility of not holding on is actually realized by ensuring your integrity within yourself, when you do not try to fill the deficiencies in yourself in someone else. When you reintegrate each other as two wholes.

This is easy to say, but we have experienced how difficult it is to do. When we think we love something, we cling to it and waste all our energy in what we call “losing anxiety.”

The balance of feminine and masculine within ourselves plays an important role here. If I connect with my feminine energy and live in a state of acceptance of what I love in myself, life itself, my ability to be, and embody these on the worldly level with my masculine energy, I will complete myself. In this case, I do not want the other to feel for me, foresee, be compassionate or act for me, take on my responsibilities. I am jealous of the person who covers my shortcomings, because when he is gone, I will be missing.

If I knew in my consciousness, in my deepest depths: two wholes form a new whole, and in this life there is neither losing nor winning; it’s just an experiential journey… Would I still carry the jealousy or would I consider celebrating my integrity?

Whether or not someone else deceives us is his responsibility, not ours.

Let us take our own responsibilities and return those of others to them.

Maybe then we can really relate.